There is a part in this movie One Night with the King where Queen Esther meets with King Xerxes and she takes her necklace off dangling it over the candlelight.
It is then we see the light of the candle illumines the Star of David.
Queen Esther saw it. Haman did not and could not see it.
Queen Esther asks King Xerxes, 'Do you see it?'
King Xerxes saw what she saw. They both had the same vision.
Haman, an evil supplanter next to the King did not see it, but a vision between a
man and woman the Lord reveals, can only be seen by the two as the Lord reveals it.
The ribs in the center... A centered, focused, Godly woman - the God given, God-ordained is there to protect the vitality of his life and will allow herself to be broken before she allows harm to come to him.
Then we have the ribs at the base... these float. There are women that float from guy to guy, they aren't fully committed, only in it to see what they can get out of it and truly cause more problems than good and are the ones you can live without.
As we read in the Book of Esther of Queen Vashti, we find a woman who on the surface level appeared to be insubordinate to her husband King Xerxes, but there is an undercurrent of this woman's character; that if you don't look deep enough; you'll miss it. (You'll read more in the Evil of Feminism section below.)
At the time King Xerxes reigned in the citadel of Susa, he gave a banquet for all of his nobles and officials and military leaders of Persia and Media, the Princes, and the nobles of the provinces also were present.
On the seventh day, King Xerxes commanded the eunuchs to bring before him Queen Vashti wearing her royal crown, in order to display her beauty to the people and the nobles for she was lovely to look at, but Queen Vashti refused to come. Esther 1:1-21
Your husband is the gift the Lord gave to you to help. Treat Him as you would treat the Lord Himself.
Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”
And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. Now indeed, Elizabeth your relative has also conceived a son in her old age; and this is now the sixth month for her who was called barren. For with God nothing will be impossible.”
Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
While he was in Bethany,reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.
Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.
This book Confronting Jezebel by Steve Sampson, I recommend to every woman I am counseling.
We see all throughout the Bible and in our world today, the women taking control and leading the man, and my goodness how out of God's order that is!
We see it in the Garden of Eden with Eve when she being deceived presented the apple to her husband to eat.
This book teaches on the characteristics of a woman who is operating under a Spirit of Jezebel (and we see this same Spirit operate again in the New Testament through Herodias daughter when she asked for the head of John the Baptist.
I want you to take notice of a few things in the above mentioned Scriptures. In Isaiah 7:14 it says behold a virgin shall conceive and bear a Son. When you research cultural context, some try to say a virgin is just a young unmarried woman, but the context states; virgin, hymen still intact. I will explain why.
You can be a virgin and have your hymen broken.
Mary's was still intact. If you research the culture in that day...
During the times of the worship of the goddess Diana, a fertility god, young virgins knew of the prophecy of a Son being born of a virgin.
In the City of Corinth, the same place we find the temple prostitutes engaging in sexual immorality on the temple stairs, these young virgins would climb upon statues of males with erect penises and wriggle down, breaking their hymen, desiring to be impregnated by their idol, but see; the Lord chose Mary, a pure woman, pure virgin whose hymen was still intact, so that the immaculate conception and the seed of God could not be confused with any other seed or any other god.
I love how Mary's response to the Angel was, "Be it unto me according to Your will."
Notice also, she didn't try to convince Joseph. I am not finding anywhere in Scripture she tried to convince him of what occurred. She obeyed the Lord and gave room for the Lord to send an Angel to speak to Joseph as well. As women, we can share what the Lord shows us, but it is better at times to pray for our husbands and ask the Lord to reveal to them what it is He has already revealed to us, and wait patiently until He does. It makes things that much simpler, especially in instances where you both may not initially be in agreement.
That's a teaching right there! Yet it also represents the types of women there are and how they relate to a man. The ribs also help with breathing. They help with your life's breathe.
They protect the vital organs., the heart and filtering organs, helping him to love on a greater level, and to be able to filter out the toxins in life and even toxic people that need to go.
The woman that God created from the man and for the man will ensure his life breathe... meaning living and breathing out the life breathe of God and will also protect him and the vitality of his life.
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18
Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14
❤ Marriage ❤
The Evil of the Feminist Movement
According to the law, Queen Vashti should have obeyed the King, so an edict went forth forbidding Queen Vashti to ever again enter the King's presence to prevent all the women from disrespecting their husbands.
Many have read this to say Queen Vashti didn't want to be used by her husband as a sex symbol to flaunt in front of men- giving room/excuse for the rise of feminism.
However; when you research this, these banquets occurred as the King was preparing a campaign against Greece. Queen Vashti's refusal to appear in public with her husband at these banquets was a public declaration she was against the war.
The counsel around King Xerxes wanted Queen Vashti removed because her absence showed a divided kingdom. If she wasn't for the war, then perhaps she thought they could not obtain victory.
Queen Vashti by her actions not showing support of her husband exuded a lack of strength in his rulership ability. If he couldn't rule his own wife and win her support, how then could he rule a Nation?
Matthew 1:18- 25 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”
So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”
Then Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife, and did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son. And he called His name Jesus.
“Leave her alone,”said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”
Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.
So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.” 1 Kings 19:1-2
The Jezebel comes for the men. It is a Death Spirit. You will see this Spirit in operation in pornography and sexual immorality, enticement and seduction. She comes to 'behead' the male authority and male leadership.
❤ I am a firm believer that a woman can make or break a man and a great woman will inspire him to be an even greater man. ❤
The Spirit of Jezebel on a woman is always a demonic assignment to a man that has a strong Prophetic call on his life. She comes for the men to demasculanize them, stripping them of their power. It is a Spirit of Control and a Whoredom Spirit in operation in a Jezebel.
This book states that if a woman fails to recognize her behaviors in being dominating and controlling, it will eventually become her personality.
The Lord showed me this can occur with any ill behaviors, addictions, habits, etc., if left unchecked, they have the potential to become one's personality.
'You do not go into the bedroom of a man, you go into a hall of a King. This is not you against him.
This is you against protocol. You against the empire.'
~ Hegai, the Royal Eunuch
One Night with the King
“The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”
Christ’s Birth Announced to Mary
Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”
But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”
The Rib Cage
Let's take a look at the anatomy of the rib. From studying we find three types of ribs. There are:
True Ribs (There are true, authentic women of God. Heaven sent to do the job they were created to.)
False Ribs (There are women who use men and are the fake, the counterfeit.)
Floating Ribs (There are women that truly aren't fully committed to their men and are there, but are doing their own thing.)
The ribs up high connected to the collar bone are the women who create the atmosphere of their home and relationship with him and based on how these women are; the neck connected to the collar bone will either cause them to bow before the Lord in humility or be stiff-necked in arrogant pride. These ribs (women) will draw you closer to the Lord or push you further away from Him.
This is one of my favorite depictions of the woman being the rib, taken out of the man.
It’s amazing how God made man, and so beautiful how he made woman! By: Florence Toh
Why did God create Woman from Man’s rib, when He could have simply created her from dust, as He did Man? This is a story that puts a beautiful touch on the reasoning:
“When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him from the dust of the Earth and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man’s life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do.”
“Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body.”
“You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side. You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtue in your heart. Your eyes: don’t change them. Your lips: how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose so perfect in form, your hands so gentle to touch. I’ve caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I’ve held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like me.”
“Adam walked with me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you: my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and support. You are special because you are the extension of me.”
“Man represents my image, woman – my emotions.
Together, you represent the totality of God. So man: treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father and the heart of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.”
When I rededicated my life to the Lord 19 years ago, I had served in a Mega Church in every area of ministry, including personal mentorship by the Senior Pastors and cleaning their home.
The Prophets came to the Church and the Senior Pastor had me wait in his office. He brought them in, pointed at me and said to them, 'There you go! I'd like you to pray over this woman, release what the Lord is saying. She has a high call upon her life.'
The Prophet began to pray and said this, 'When the woman, Mary Magdalene poured out the alabaster box because of her extravagant love for Jesus, the complaints came back to Him and He said, 'Let her alone! Wherever the Gospel is preached, it shall be a memorial unto her, as it is with you, because you have lavished your love upon me, it shall be a memorial made unto you and I shall speak of it on that Day!'"
Women in the Bible * My Favorites
The Jeremiah Project, as a cited source below did a great job regarding this evil masked as women's empowerment.
To me, a woman is the greatly empowered when she is submissive to the Lord, when He is first in her life.
Here is an excerpt from their studies...
[Some would say feminism is about basic human rights and that it's just a modern social movement. The truth is, the feminist movement is neither modern nor social in its origin. At its roots are ancient, highly religious elements that are rarely, if ever, mentioned.
The spirit of radical feminism is the spirit of witchcraft and rebellion, the spirit manifested in Jezebel. It is the spirit which rejects God's lawful order and authority and tries to usurp that authority to itself, as did Eve in the Garden of Eden. Because they build much of their thinking on humanism, leaders in the feminist movement have no place for God.
New Age feminist and conference speaker Charlene Spretnak in her book, The Politics of Women's Spirituality, teaches that, according to one reviewer, "Goddess worship, paganism, Wicca, and witchcraft are all names for a form of natural religion that is centered around the mystery, sexuality, and psychic mysteries of the female. The book is a clarion call to women to regain their natural power and to overthrow the global rule of men. The author's starting point for the re-establishment of female dominance is in bringing an end to Judeo-Christian religion."]
❤ My Personal View, Background & Upbringing on a Woman's Role ❤
― Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible
Ruth came upon his field to glean.
The Lord always brings the woman to the man's field.
The Lord presents her to him.
Ruth and Boaz - the Countries they each came from, were enemies.
Ruth and Boaz - both loved the Law.
Ruth and Boaz - (after she was told truth) both hated idols and worship of other gods.
Prophecy enwrapped these two of Christ coming forth through Ruth's seed and the enemy tried to steal the seed (which is his M.O.) by sending the kingsman redeemer (one closer in proximity) and that union would have altered destiny.
Boaz had noticed her, watched her (before she was aware of his intentions) and he took care of her and protected her- told his men to stay away.
He was always there in the shadows watching over and protecting her.
Women in the Bible * Avoid Becoming Like them
Virgin Mary, the Mother of Jesus
I was born in Albany, NY and I grew up just across the Hudson River in Rensselaer, NY and lived there until the age of 14.
I will share a lot of personal information to lay the foundation of my early life that helped shape my personal beliefs on a woman's role.
My mother conceived me when her and her husband were estranged, so I was a product of an adulterous affair.
My biological father was in town with the Navy and they had met at a bar and one thing as they say, led to another and that led to me...
My mother told me she had hemorrhaged with me during her first trimester. The Hospital thought she had miscarried me and wanted to perform a D&C.
She didn't believe in procedures like that or abortions so she decided to go for a 2nd opinion.
That 2nd opinion was at a Catholic Hospital. They told her there was only 1 chance in 10,0000 that I would survive in my mother's womb and be normal.
My mom used to joke all the time, 'At least you survived!' As you can see, I had to learn to be a fighter since conception in the womb.
My mother and her husband decided to work on their marriage and they put her husband's name on my birth certificate.
That man who was named on my birth certificate died of electrocution when I was six months old.
I grew up believing my father was dead. It wasn't until I was 26 years old, when my mother and her brother were arguing over my grandfather's estate and my uncle to get revenge on my mother; told me of my paternity.
My father was not the man on my birth certificate, but was alive and well and still is today in another state.
It was very hard to deal with. I had suppressed a lot for years because at the time this truth came out my mother was terminally ill with colon cancer and I was her caregiver.
(What's worse- my entire family; grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even my cousins and siblings knew- everyone knew, but me.
To this day, I covet truthfulness and honestly. I would rather have the hard truth to my face, than lies and deceit behind behind my back. I live by this.)
My mother was a dominating woman. She wore the pants in the household. She had been in abusive relationships and I believe my grandmother spoiling her as the only daughter didn't help much, but from her abusive relationships she had been in she was on Valium, and slept a lot.
Her third husband, he raised us and took care of us as his own, at times working two full time jobs to support us all.
My childhood was impoverished, we didn't have much. I can remember early on, my step-father working sixteen hour days, and because of her addiction to Valium, she slept some days until 3pm or later in the afternoon.
I can remember thinking as a little girl, 'If I get kidnapped, she'll never know what clothing I was wearing that day to give a description to the Police so they can find me.'
My grandmother, we called her 'Nanny', she came to our home every morning, woke me up, fed me, got me dressed and I would sleep in the backseat of her car while she worked as a crossing guard near my elementary school, and every day when she finished, she would drop me off to school in the morning on her way back home.
At the end of the day, I waked about three quarters of mile home only to make coffee and wake my mother up and then begin housework.
I often felt like Cinderella, always cooking and cleaning up after her and her friends that would come to the house to eat and leave a mess every night.
I would try to make sure dinner was cooked so my step-father had something to eat when he came home. I always felt horribly for him and I guess when it came to cooking and cleaning, even as a young girl I took on that role to do the things she should have been doing, otherwise my step-father would come home after a sixteen hour day only to cook dinner for us all and then clean and go to bed to begin again. I always felt I wanted to help lift the burdens for him, it just wasn't right. As a young girl I knew it, but never understood why my mother didn't. I suppose from her never receiving counseling from abusive relationships she had made her mind up to not ever let a man treat her badly again, only she had made a great guy pay a high cost for what everyone else did to her.
As a young girl, I learned so much from my Nanny. She taught me to always sit with my legs crossed, to be modest in dress, to have manners and be polite. She taught me how to crochet and sew. Every Sunday morning she would drive miles to come to our home to pick me and my two older siblings up for Sunday School. They would play sick or hide and I felt horrible she drove all that way so I went with her on Sunday's.
She was an Elder in a Methodist Church and taught Sunday's School to us children. She always took me shopping to make sure I had nice clothes for Sunday School and on the Holidays. It was in Sunday School she would give me a dime every Sunday to put in the offering plate.
One of my favorite gifts she ever gave to me and it fell apart I wore it so much, was a mustard seed necklace. I didn't understand what that meant until later on in life.
Another woman who influenced me greatly was my Aunt Theresa, she was a Polish woman.
Every time we went to her and my Uncle Mitch's home, they had a display of food on the table and the Bible was always laying on the table opened. They never pushed it on us, it was just there and when we would ask questions, they would answer them. They both taught me a lot about being generous, hospitable, serving, and faith. I always felt so loved when I went to their home.
My Aunt, she taught me how a wife should take care of her husband. My Uncle drove a Car Carrier and there were times he would get home at 3-4am and she would get up and cook a full meal and have it prepared so he had a hot meal on the table as soon as he walked through the door.
She taught me about caring for him, her household, and her family. That was the most important thing a woman could do it to take great care of her household.
My mother had one of the biggest hearts I know when it came to helping the poor. Even though we didn't have much, she always seemed to take care of everyone.
Looking back I have felt I wish she would have taken care of my step-father and us children more, but understand she was too broken a person to see it at the time and see what she was doing to herself, and her household.
My mother and step-father had taken in an elderly man who used to rent an apartment from them. They moved him into our dining room and moved our dining room out.
I remember as a young girl having to take care of him, he was very old, frail and can still smell the infections of the ulcers on his legs today.
There were teenagers in the neighborhood who were troublesome and at times their own parents would kick them out of their homes. My mother would take them in and at times we would have to give up our bedrooms for these strangers so they could have a place to stay.
Some of them we fought with. I guess being territorial begins when you're young, and some we didn't take to kindly too and I can remember my siblings and I doing not so nice things to them because honestly we kind of hated them for taking our rooms.
One was snoring so loudly one time, he must have been in his late teens or early twenties and was disrupting our Saturday morning cartoons, so we snuck in to my brothers confiscated bedroom, climbed up on the top bunk where he was asleep and gently placed a used cigarette butt in his mouth and ran out of the bedroom.
A minute later we heard him snore even louder- then choke on the butt!
For my entire life I have not known anything but to be a caregiver. That's how I am wired, is to take care of others. I wouldn't know how not to. It's engrained within me.
I don't have a selfish bone in my body.
I am always aware of everyone and everything going on around me, and extremely conscientious and sensitive to the needs of others at any given time, whether they are in front of me at the store or if the Lord brings them to mind and I call them up to ask how they are doing.
I feel my life is not my own and at any time if the Lord tells me to do something, to give something, I don't hesitate. All that I have belongs to Him.
At the end of the day, we are well taken care of by the Lord and always seem to have enough to help others, and I always remember... we can't take any of this with us.
It's what we do for Christ that will remain. We all end up in a six foot box. So I believe in helping others while I'm here.
From my upbringing, and from sitting with Pastoral oversight for ten years; holding my life accountable and from over two years of sitting in a Counselor's office receiving marital counseling alone. Add to it 3.5 years of a counseling education; I strongly believe as a woman, (and even a man), it's vitally important to have God first in your life.
Without Him being first; you will feel incomplete and will be looking to your husband to meet needs that he may not be able to meet.
When you receive all of your love, comfort, esteem, emotional and spiritual needs from the Lord; this will free you from unmet expectations in your marriage.
You will not be looking to what you can get from him, but rather what you can give.
An extremely old-fashioned gal, my personal belief is this: If being a wife is the one thing you do well in life, in helping your husband to be all that he can be, you've done enough. I don't believe being a wife is solely what a woman was created for; the Lord has placed many gifts within each of us to cultivate, both spiritually and economically; but if those things encumber you from taking care of your husband well, you may need to adjust your priorities.
In Genesis, the Lord created a woman to be the 'help'. We were created to help him, not the other way around.
Women are more sensitive to the Lord and we have what you call, 'women's intuition'.
So as she shares with her husband what she is sensing, he can pray about it, but ultimately, he has the final decision to make, in all things.
The husband is the covering and as women; it is in our best interests to submit to that covering. He will give an account to the Lord for all of the decision making, which saves us from doing so.
He is a covering for own protection and we benefit from that covering as we yield to it.
I will say, it is much easier to submit completely to someone that you know loves you and has your best interests at heart.
I've always been the type from my upbringing to always go the extra mile and do so especially in relationships.
I always make sure- if it comes apart; it was not by my doing.
A man should have a hot meal on the table when he walks through the door. I have always even laid out suits, clothing, towels for their shower, etc.
You want to help ensure is organized for the next day. You want to rise early in the morning and prepare breakfast for him. Make his morning pleasant. Set the tone for the day so when he leaves the home he is at peace, not in response mode or crisis mode and when he returns home in the evening, have coffee or tea waiting for him, allow him to sit in his recliner and unwind from the day. Perhaps give him a massage and just make the day's worries disappear. Give him time to unwind and don't bombard him with your day's stress. Try to handle what you can and then bring to him what you can't; after allowing him to unwind for an hour or so, time his evening meal after that period of time.
Eating on a stressful stomach increases health problems both cardio vascular and digestively, you don't want that for yourself or for him.
If you have children, perhaps their playtime in their playroom or even quiet time can be when dad comes home to unwind and allow him to switch gears from 'work' to 'family' to begin his interactions.
One of my pet peeves for women is one who nags him to do things she herself can do, like taking out the trash or shoveling the walk way.
I have counseled many married couples and the arguments are over the smallest non-important matters.
I've learned to do everything myself. As should every married woman. He is not your maid and he is not your child. He is your husband. Ultimately the one in charge as head of household.
Another is correcting him in public. Even if he says something that may be offensive- smile politely and address it at home if it is even necessary to address.
Remember: your job, is to make him look even greater than he already is. You are his crown; an adornment to him.
As a wife, one thing to remember which is of utmost importance; regarding your home; a woman sets the atmosphere in the home.
Make it a peaceful sanctuary for him to come home to, a refuge.
Men need their wife's support, respect, honor and friendship. They too, need a soft place to fall, although they may never admit it. Be that for them.
Study him and find out what makes him happy. Then do more of those things for him.
Be the best woman you can spiritually. Know who you are in Christ and whose you are. Know how to pray for him, powerful life changing, mountain moving prayers.
Be his strength. His rock. Encourage him.
Be the best you can be emotionally. Having a heightened sense of self-awareness makes an emotionally healthy individual. When you are finding your emotions are running high or low- go to the Lord and ask Him to show you why. When things trigger you to become upset or angry; before speaking harshly or acting out; pause for a moment and ask the Lord, 'What is going on inside of me? Why do I feel so bothered by this?' The Lord will show you and I guarantee you, it has nothing to do with what your husband is doing currently, but more than likely; some undealt with childhood issues that are triggering a response.
Be the best you can be physically. If you know what time he is coming home, have his dinner cooking, but get yourself made up. Put on a nice dress, hair, make-up.
Keep up your physical appearance. Men are bombarded with urges and images continuously. They're men, that is how they are wired. Give him a sight to behold when he walks through that door, remind him of why he married you in the first place.
Keep your body physically in shape. I'm sure he loves you as you are; but do it for yourself so you feel more confident about yourself as a woman, do it for health reasons and do it so your body is pleasing to your husband.
When it comes to sexual intimacy...
As a woman, knowing how men are wired and need that release; you can not withhold sexual relations from your husband. He needs that. Whether you feel like it or not.
If you have a headache, take some Advil!
When married; your body does not belong to you any longer but is his and vice versa. In 1 Corinthians 7:4 it says, " The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife." The only reason you should ever withhold or abstain from sexual intimacy with your husband is if you are fasting; but again; communication and understanding and being in agreement always solves issues...
"Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:5
Just don't deprive him of what he needs. A lot of men show their love by lovemaking and if you deprive him of that- you are short-circuiting your marriage.
Sexual intimacy between husband and wife is an act of worship before the Lord. You both are bonding intimately creating closeness and honoring the Lord by doing so.
Within the confines of marriage, it is a beautiful thing. Sacred.
Just remember how much he needs that release, perhaps more than you do as a woman and there are too many things bombarding him all the time... you want to be that safe haven he comes home to allowing him unlimited access to his wife.
After Christ, put him first. He is your first ministry and comes before work, children, family, friends, volunteering, etc.
Don't place your husband on the altar of sacrifice. He deserves your best. God requires that from you as a wife.
And surprise your husband at times. It will keep him on his toes.
One final thought; don't forget to allow your husband time away from you with his guy friends or enjoying his favorite hobby. When he returns he will be in such a better mood and he needs that time away. I have found most women take issue with men having guy time or hobby time because the women don't enjoy time with other women or their own hobbies and back to the beginning; they are looking for their husband to fill a void they were never meant to fill.
As for me personally, I enjoy my solitude. I truly do. Years ago, I had an open door policy, anyone can stop over whenever they like. Now, I request a call first.
I enjoy a private life in setting boundaries with people. I will not have my home disturbed and disrupted. I have found people want to bring their problems yet do not seek a solution. The way I am wired, I will listen to your problem but the conversation needs to end with what the solution may be to resolve it.
For me, I spend so much time with the Lord and in prayer and writing that I have no desire for going out with women for ladies night out or hanging with groups of women for teas/coffees, etc. I don't mind hosting once in a while but when women become familiar with one another they become gossipy and I don't care for that. It muddies me up, I lose my peace, and it hinders my hearing clearly from the Lord.
I enjoy my peace and quiet too much. In a marriage, I'm fine with times together and times apart. There has to be a healthy balance.
Original Biblical Greek translations state that Magdala means “tower” or “castle”.
Mary Magdalene was a Jewish woman who according to texts included in the New Testament traveled with Jesus as one of of his followers. She witnessed Jesus crucifixion and resurrection.
Within the four Gospels she is named at least 12 times, 4 more, than most of the apostles.
No woman, however, superseded Mary in her utter devotion to the Master.
Mary went with her Lord into the shadows, and is thus represented as being among those who followed Jesus on His last sad journey from Galilee to Jerusalem. And as they followed, they still “ministered unto Him.” Mary was present with the other holy women at the mock trial of Jesus. No longer is He on the road with crowds gathering and hanging on His words. Fearless in His declaration and denunciations, He is arrested and tried for His life. Some of His intimate friends had deserted Him, but Mary and her band did not forsake Him.
The poet reminds us—
Not she with traitorous kiss her Master stung,
Not she denied Him with unfaithful tongue;
She, when Apostles fled, could dangers brave,
Last at the Cross, and earliest at the grave.